The Student Uprising of 2015

US History 10/6/15

It is 2015, but this is a fact we all regret. Our school administration, headed by Principal Biscan, have renamed themselves "The High Council," and have begun instituting some new rules at Wheaton North High School. First comes the raised lunch prices--lunch now costs almost double what it had before. We all know that this isn't to fund teacher's salaries, and it hasn't brought any more chromebooks into the picture. All this new cash is going straight into the "High Council Emergency Hedge Fund," a fancy name for their own pockets. And don't think that you brown-baggers have been safe either. Those who pack their own lunch have to buy lunch stickers in order to get their bag in through the security doors at school.
Did I mention the security checkpoints? That's been a particularly frustrating new rule, too. There is now only one door through which students can get in and out of school, at any point in the day. If that wasn't enough, you have to go through a metal detector and are risking random searches by The High Council's cronies--the famed Evil Weasels. Any <i>contraband</i> they find is confiscated and donated to the High Council Toy Room. Yes, the contraband list has grown. You all look with fond memories upon the times when contraband was just major things--like weapons, drugs, anything dangerous or harmful. Now any form of US currency is confiscated. You cannot have your cell phones or many personal items beyond a small tub of hand sanitizer and bug spray, each.
With new rules come new punishments. After all, the High Council wants to be sure that every student is on board with its new policies. No more do we say the Pledge of Allegiance each morning--now we say the Oath of Obedience. Any student who breaks simple rules such as refusing to say the Oath, is sent to the basement to receive "Electric Shock Rehabilitation Therapy." Any student who disobeys a teacher, let alone a High Councilman, is whipped. Any student who tries to escape is hung from the ceiling by their thumbs in the Commons. Needless to say, things are ugly and among the students, resentment is growing. Murmurs are going around that this something must be done.
As a class, what are you going to do?
Nothing. This is the new normal.
Talk to your parents and ask that they file a complaint with the Ministry of Complaints. Let the adults sort it out.
Begin to plot rebellion--knowing that getting caught would merit the highest punishment: death-by-tickling