Dead.

My life consists of constant thought, always wondering about-what seems like off topic things to most people-but to me the thoughts are what keep me going. I cannot explain what goes threw my head but somehow I know I'm not the only one. It's a sequence, a train, a "well if this happens then this happens" arrangement. I think about bad things, sad things, dark things, and painful things, then other times I think about the future and happiness. My mind is a black hole of imagination and I fear it'll consume me. I can't control it sometimes, it makes me do bad things and it makes me curious about things I would never have done if my head was clear. Sometimes I feel like something is wrong with me. Like I'm insane...but then I get to thinking again and I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, I'm not the only one who fights their thoughts, I'm not completely alone, and that's when they attack again and I fall apart, like an endless cycle of torture and pain...I wish I could make it go away but I also love it...Fucked up isn't it?