Such a trainwreck

well now that ive had a negative start lets begin.

My name is Chloe and i live in the 21st centery but i wish i wasnt, im 16 years old and i dont know what to do with my life but this isnt what this story is going to be about. no this story is about how ive got this situation how i dont know how to resolve it.

Two of my bestest friends were dating and i thought they were obviously quite serious so obviously i thought everything was fine but boy was i wrong. I had gotten really close to Daniel but he was telling me his girlfriend Amy has been ignoring his and specifically singling him out and making him feel alone but that is just the start.

Over 2 months distance seperated them and about a week before prom she broke it off with him leving him lost and not knowing what to do, things got worse for Daniel because his friends decided to fall out with him because he was too 'boring' and 'fixated in fixing his unrevivable relationship with Amy'. I was all he had left basically apart from his family so i was acting as his firl best friend and his guy best friend, The person he goes too for advise and the person he flirts with, i felt like his support network, i feel like its my duty to talk to him and flirt with him and make sure hes ok.

Me and Amy hardly see eachother now and when we do its accidentally when one of us have to go back to college and im upset that we've distanced but me and Daniel have gotten closer and closer, a small part of me is thinking that this is wrong and that i need to stop this but i cant, I care about Daniel, part of me thinks im being a bad friend, part of me thinks that im just doing this for him but then i get to thinking. I havnt had a boyfriend in over 2 years, everybody takes me as a joke any anybody who does take me seriously just wants nude pics and sex, Daniel cares about me well i think he does. Recently we've been talking about having sex with eachother which sort of makes sence because id rather lose my virginity to a friend who i care about then a dude that i think i love but im just being used again, then i start asking myself questions like; what if this doesnt work out?? and what if we're not sexually attracted to each other??

I bet most of you have stopped reading by now, its quite a depressing story but i guess this isnt a story, this is me coming clean, this is me saying things i dont have the courage to say, this is me saying i dont know what to do.

The sad part is i got so overwelmed one night when i was chatting to Daniel because hed been reading his old messages that he had with Amy and he's there telling me that he still loves her even thou shes already moved on and i just thought that hes expecting me to flirt with him, send him nudes and have sex with him while hes saying to me that he still loves sombody else and the first thing that came to mind when i thought that was that i was a side ho, i had become something i never wanted to be then because i had obviously gotten upset i told him to change the convosation but instead i got a reply saying <b><i>'im the upset one here you change the convosation what have you got to be upset about</i>'</b> then that made me realise that hes too blind to realise what hes doing to a person who cares about him, i got really angry and i wanted to tell him to grow some balls and to get over Amy but i just couldnt, ive wanted to tell him that for so long but i just cant, i just feel mean and like a horrible person.

This is my dilema, i dont know what to do, should i have this friends with benifits type of relationship with one of my best friends but always knowing id be in second to an ex that has already moved on from him or should i have to demolish one of the best friendships ive ever had,<b> im so confused.</b>

I was wrong to call this a story, it should've been a confession.

Chloe xx