Padme Patchwork

Well, sure I didn’t have you all fooled. Did I? You believed in the narrative of me dying,fading away like I was no one and had nothing. Have you ever heard of anyone dying of heartbreak before, I thought it was a rather big stretch, but people want to see what they sought and he had to believe it. He broke my heart, I am not fooling myself and love makes you blind. But my heart beats for all of you. It beats for my children, my nation, my people, for me, the whole galaxy. 

Seriously,I have to say I am quite disappointed.  I mean I guess I never let you in, did not include you in my master plan, let you inside my mind. I am the queen of underestimation. It is what keeps me alive,but I thought at least one of you was going to command and claim to know the truth. But I am just a girl, no one special, no family, no friends, all alone,without power or knowledge, a tag to my face or a diam to my name. That is what I will go back to, to play the role I know best, I have played so well.

I can be a shadow and I can be patient, but I will strike. I will hit when you least expect it. I am willing to destroy. Peace is something I myself will never have again, but I will bring it to you. There is glory and gore and I do not need  or want either, but he can’t have any of it. I know him like no other. The person I know might be dead by now, and there will be a grave that says my name, but we are both still breathing and there is no stopping now, not until this is done, between him and me, eye to eye.

So, you keep thinking I was just another victim of Darth Vader’s creation, a small stone chipped away on the way to power and revelation. Another regret, a great loss, but like my children I did not vanish I just needed you to believe we did.

My children, I hope they are smart enough to withstand in this cruel world, but not too smart. Ignorance and can be a wonderful bliss and I do not want that life for them, the life of their parents, a life in this galaxy thatis disrupted and broken in so many places. I hope they take care. They broke my heart like he never could have, they tore it open and all the fears and doubts streamed in so quickly that I thought that there actually might be such a thingas dying from a broken heart. So afraid for them to look like their parents and to wonder about them, terrified they would end up like either of us.

There should be a world out there for all our children to live in, where they have all the opportunities to reach their full potential, where there is no need for any of this, no agony and no need to fight. But the fight is all I long for. Ihave never been naïve and I am not quite as honorable. I want justice. I am waiting for the time to be right so I can pick and choose my final battle and for now that means goodbye Padmé Amidala farewell to this world and have faith.