The false racist proclamation

Once upon a time...there was a man that looked really weird. Many people did not like this man because he was white and he had jaundice and squinty eyes so it looked like, well, you know. People were always calling him racist, and he tried to explain to them that he had jaundice, but nobody knew what that meant so they thought that he was trying to make fun of literally retarded people. Eventually he thought to himself that if nobody will ever like him, then he did not belong in this world. So, later that evening he made an appointment at the suicide clinic for the morning of April first, which was the next day. He gave a farewell to all his family and his 20 pets (he was getting pretty lonesome) and went to sleep for the very last time. When he woke up in the morning he went straight to the suicide clinic. there he got to choose his death.