Superintendent Chalmers

Picture this: You're a 9 year old child. Not hard, right? Chances are that you've been 9 before, and they aren't that hard to picture in your mind, are they? Right. Glad you're brain is functional. That makes this story easier to write. "Oh wait! Slow down! I don't know what a 9 year old is like!" Glad that isn't your thinking. Glad you can use common knowledge and put that to a picture into your mind. Now picture this: Your parents are both 10,000 year old qɐlɓloZ from the planet ɘmɒǫɘǫɒdɿɒǫɒꙅiɘƚiᴎƚɿoᎸ who gave birth to you to slave away towards their master Bob. Kinda hard to picture, right? I mean you've never even heard of these things I just told you, and I expect you to just picture these things without you even knowing what they are? That's quite a different task than asking you to picture a 9 year old, huh?
Ok. I get it. Just get on with the story.
What's a 9 year old?